The Perspiring Writer Magazine

It’s sweeping across the country. It’s infectious, and symptoms could linger the rest of your life. An estimated 60 million Americans are carriers. No, it’s not influenza; it’s memoir writing. The encouraging news––writing is good for you.

Most of us understand the benefits of physical exercise for the body, but our minds need a workout, too. Reading, working crossword puzzles, and playing cards and board games activate the mind. Writing is an effective mental exercise, particularly memoir or what is sometimes called life history. There’s a belief in the gerontology field that Life Review is not only beneficial to well-being, but necessary.

Looking at the past and accepting failures, celebrating successes, making amends and coming to peace with life is a way of giving ourselves meaning. Reminiscing helps us accept our eventual death. It decreases anxiety, depression, and stress, leading to better overall health. In general, people who reminisce have a positive outlook on life.  

Therapists sometimes use oral reminiscing to help stroke victims learn to speak again and to stimulate the minds of Alzheimer’s patients who are gradually losing pieces of their past and present. Reminiscing is not limited to the infirm and the elderly, nor is memoir writing the exclusive domain of celebrities airing their various addictions, their sordid kiss-and-tell confessions, or their coming-out-of-the-closet revelations. 

People of all ages and from every walk of life are delving into the past, writing their life stories and publishing the collection for family members. You need not be a skilled writer to pen a memoir. It’s the content that will be valuable to your descendants.

Alex Haley, author of Roots, said, “Each of us needs a sense of where we belong. In every family, someone must take the responsibility of becoming its historian. Interview the old people, comb the attic, then write up the information and circulate it.”

Go ahead, elect yourself family historian. It could be the most rewarding task you ever undertake. Today’s family researchers have countless Internet sites at their disposal as well as genealogy software to guide them through the process. There are scores of Web sites where you can post messages asking about family lines. 

Chances are, you’ll hear from more than one person, some in far off lands. Genealogists are generous; they share what they have. Photos of ancestors can be digitalized and shared, too. Don’t take all information found on the Internet (or anywhere) as gospel. Back up the material through more than one source.

If you scoff at family history writing with the assertion, “We’re ordinary folks. There’s nothing interesting about us,” take another look; dig deeper, ask questions. You probably won’t find Mayflower ancestors or European royalty in your blood line, but you will likely encounter fascinating people, perhaps some rogues and eccentrics who will lead you down paths of intrigue and adventure.

Here are some ideas for getting started on compiling your history. Using a pedigree chart, begin with yourself and work backward, listing parents, grandparents, as far back as you can go. Keep a notebook in which you enter information about each person: birth date, place of birth, marriage, children, death date, and place of death. Even if you have only a woman’s married name, you’ll fill in the blanks later. Keep all material in an accessible place. You'll be more inclined to work on the project if everything is at your fingertips.

Join a life history/memoir writing class. Hearing classmates’ stories will trigger memories. Instructors will encourage you to write anecdotes as if you’re telling them around the family table. They’ll ask for details, using all five senses. Years later, your written words will reflect your voice, manner of speech, and expressions, bringing you to life for those who knew you and those who did not. If writing a complete memoir seems daunting, tackle one story at a time. Divide recollections by subject: Childhood, high school, college, work, marriage, travel, holiday traditions, hobbies, vacations, retirement.

Interview relatives. It’s easy with e-mail. At family gatherings, ask questions that trigger memory: Why did you leave Italy and come to America? Tell me about the voyage. How did you meet Aunt Louise? Author Studs Terkel suggests a technique he calls: Hunt for Florence. He adds, “I’ll be doing an interview and someone will say, ‘I can’t explain it. Ask Florence. She’s the one who knows.’ I always want to talk to Florence.” He advises, “Find your Florence.” 

Host a reunion and tape or video record relatives’ conversations about the past. Offer to organize an older relative’s attic or other storage places. Borrow bibles, journals, letters, recipe books, birth and death certificates, newspaper articles, obituaries, and photo albums. If people in the albums are not identified, find out who they are. Photos lose value when no one knows who the relatives are. 

Again, double check your sources. Not all information in official documents or newspapers or even word of mouth is accurate. Aunt Lily might swear the baby in the photograph is your mother, but the license plate on the car in the photo tells a different story if it’s dated two years before Mom’s birth.    

Create a family Web site and encourage relatives to contribute material and photos, even the younger generation. They are in line to one day become the ancestors relatives will be seeking. Involve children. Ask them to write a poem or essay about a loved one, or have them draw a tree and fill in family names on the branches. They’ll be more interested in family history if they know where they fit into the picture. 

Writer Eudora Welty said, “Children know the stories are there. When their elders sit down and begin talking, children are waiting and hoping for a story to come out, like a mouse from its hole.” Children will enjoy reading your collection or having it read to them. Kids are fascinated with the concept that their parents and grandparents were once children, and want to know what it was like in “the old days.”

Genealogy research can be endless. At some point, tell yourself this is it for now and put what you have into a book or on a CD. You can update later with new information. Using a CD is a sound and economical idea. Disks are not as much bulk and are less expensive than printing copies for dozens of family members. If anyone wants a printed copy you or they can print from the computer.  

Alex Haley said, “When an old person dies, it's like a library burning.”

Don't let your precious library burn. Save your life and your family’s life in a written history. The memoir will be a treasured gift long after you depart this life. It's also a gift to you. Your journey into the past will exercise your mind, body and soul. It will give you a sense of purpose and fulfillment, a better understanding of your identity, and promote emotional, spiritual, and physical well-being.

*One of the best places to save your memories today is at http://www.yesterdaysmagazette.com 

Yesterday's Magazette has been preserving personal memories since 1973.